Wednesday, November 12, 2014
What do I do when I am not sure what I should be doing? I feel unhappy every day at my job. Every day. Without exception. I don't know what makes me so unhappy. I know that I hate the amount of students in my class. I hate how gross the room is. I hate that everything I put money or energy into is ultimately destroyed. I hate that I feel alone and judged at the same time. I hate that I no longer find the joy in teaching. I'm miserable. I shouldn't be a kindergarten teacher. I shouldn't be the first experience with school that some of these kids have because I am terrified that I am ruining it for them. I feel like I am not competitive but how can I not be when I felt like a natural and am now being blown out of the water by the teacher who is 10 years younger than me. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I need to leave the classroom but where do I go next? What do I do when all my experience is in the classroom and I have no networking skills, advantages, or talents to get me into something else? I'm definitely not doing well.