Wednesday, November 12, 2014


What do I do when I am not sure what I should be doing?  I feel unhappy every day at my job.  Every day.  Without exception.  I don't know what makes me so unhappy.  I know that I hate the amount of students in my class.  I hate how gross the room is.  I hate that everything I put money or energy into is ultimately destroyed.  I hate that I feel alone and judged at the same time.  I hate that I no longer find the joy in teaching.  I'm miserable.  I shouldn't be a kindergarten teacher.  I shouldn't be the first experience with school that some of these kids have because I am terrified that I am ruining it for them.  I feel like I am not competitive but how can I not be when I felt like a natural and am now being blown out of the water by the teacher who is 10 years younger than me.  I just don't know what to do.  I feel like I need to leave the classroom but where do I go next?  What do I do when all my experience is in the classroom and I have no networking skills, advantages, or talents to get me into something else?  I'm definitely not doing well.